中華心理衛生協會

Purpose: Mourning is an inevitable process, especially with the death of a family member. This research explores the emotional connection between the bereaved and the deceased by examining how the bereaved cope with grief and how they adjust their emotions to keep from falling into a downward spiral. Methods: We conducted interviews with 11 family members (4 male, 7 female, mean age = 36) of 8 patients (mean age = 69) who died from cancer. All family members and patients were Taiwanese and interviews were all conducted in Taiwanese 6 to 18 months after the death of the patient. For data analysis, we used open, axial and selective coding. Data analysis was facilitated by computer software WinMAX. Results: The analysis revealed that most respondents believed that the deceased had transformed into another form of existence. Through this virtual existence the deceased were seen as having space and affect and the ability to communicate and make decisions. Family members continued to bond with the deceased by fulfilling their last wishes, inheriting their legacy, following their example, achieving reform or a break-through, and through release. These five forms served as indicators of the strength of the bond between the respondent and the deceased. Some respondents followed their wishes completely, some gradually became independent; only a few were able to completely let go of the deceased. Conclusions: The virtual existence of the deceased alleviated the drastic impact of the loss. The bereaved had different attitudes towards the virtual existence of the deceased, and these attitudes corresponded to significant affective differences between family members, including differences in reaction and recovery. Those who were able to separate themselves quickly from the deceased were recovery-oriented, future-oriented, and focused on the living. They also wanted others to recover quickly from their pain and get back to living. Those who held on tightly to the deceased were loss-oriented; they focused on the deceased and dwelt on past memories. Misunderstandings between the members of a bereaving family occurred as a result of this affective gap as they could not understand how each other felt. As time went by, the bereaved shifted from focusing on the deceased to focusing on living. Time with family members gradually eased the pain and restored a new order. They developed new methods of decision-making that released them from their bonds with the deceased and allowed them a breakthrough in their way of life.