Married Taiwanese Men's Perception and Expression of Intimacy
趙文滔(Wen-Tao Chao) ； 蕭英玲(Ying-Ling Hsiao) ； 利翠珊(Cui-Shan Li)
關鍵詞 Key words : 男性 ； 婚姻 ； 親密感 ； 性別差異 ； gender differences ； intimacy ； marriage ； men's studies
DOI:
10.30074/FJMH.202106_34(2).0002
研究目的：親密感為婚姻重要元素，然男女性對親密感經驗不盡相同，既有文獻以女性觀點為主，未能完全呈現男性經驗。本研究探討臺灣男性在婚姻中如何感受、如何表達親密。研究方法：以半結構焦點團體訪談結婚1∼3年內、3∼19年及19年以上三組，每組七位已婚男性，再以質性方法分析訪談內容。研究結果：受訪男性感受親密的經驗有：共同投入、被照顧或照顧對方、珍珠時刻、儀式與默契、被需要／被重視／被肯定、性；表達親密的方式有：肢體接觸、透過性表達愛意或歉意、為太太做事、調整自己配合太太、包容體諒、製造驚喜、口語表達、以及投其所好。研究結論：一、與妻子一起買菜、接小孩等「共同投入」是先生感到與太太親密的時刻；二、性是男性感受親密、表達情意或調節關係緊張的重要途徑；三、臺灣先生對妻子表達情意的方式很含蓄、非口語，未必符合女性期待。先生若能學習回應妻子需要的親密方式，妻子若能學習感知先生透過作為傳遞的情感，或可增加彼此幸福感。
Purpose: Intimacy plays a vital role in marriage, yet men and women often experience intimacy differently. The existing literature regarding intimacy mainly focuses on interpersonal expression and communication, which women are usually good at. Men's experiences are unclear. We explored how Taiwanese husbands perceive and express intimacy in their marriage. Methods: We recruited 3 groups of 7 husbands based on the length of their marriage: 1 to 3 years, 3 to 19 years, and more than 19 years. We interviewed these 21 participants and conducted a qualitative analysis of the verbatim interviews. Results: Participants perceived intimacy with their wives in: mutual engagement, being taken care of or taking care of her, sparkling moments, rituals and tacit understanding, being needed/recognized/validated, and sex. Participants expressed affection towards their wives through: physical contact, sex, doing things for her, adapting to her demands, considerately forbearance surprises, verbal expressions, doing what she prefers. Conclusions: We identified 3 main findings. First, many husbands feel intimate with their wives through mutual engagement in activities such as going to the market or picking up kids with her. Second, through sex men can feel intimate, express affection, or regulate tension in the relationship. And third, many husbands express their love by means of actions, which are prone to misperception in relationship. Intimacy between couples can be enhanced if men learn to express affection in response to their wives' expectations, and women learn to perceive their husbands' action-oriented expressions of affection.